Contradiction In Terms

I am a contradiction in terms. hehe No, really, I believe I am.
Here's what I know about myself....

I want to be noticed; but I don't want the world's eyes on me.

I want to be heard; but, when asked, I won't read aloud the poetry I write.

I want to "call it like it is", be open, cut through the bull; but I don't want the truth to hurt anyone or make anyone mad.

I want to make the most of my time; but I seem content to just sit around and waste time on the computer.

I "desperately" want to be tone, get fit; but I do NOT want any part of working out.

I'm sociable; but I don't do much socially.

I want to just be myself, be natural; but I seldom, if ever, leave my home without wearing make-up and decent clothes (no ballcap and jogging pants for me!).

I vote; but I strongly believe it really doesn't make one iota of difference.

I truly want to listen to everyone; but I can't shut up long enough to do so.

I don't care what others think of me; but I worry that I'm a disappointment to a lot of people.

I love to write things that I believe others will enjoy; but I don't let them read it.

I am an expert at procrastination; but I usually plan events months in advance, make list after list, adhere to them and breathe at a normal pace until it is over.

I'm optimistic; but I worry "what if" too much.

I believe everyone has an appointed date of death, "when it's your time to go, it's your time to go"; but I don't believe God's going to pick your lazy, desperate butt up off a railroad track in the nick of time JUST because your appointment date isn't for another 30 years.

I want to 'personally' improve others' lives; but I don't want them to ever know I did.

I believe I'm a good friend to have; but I wonder sometimes why any of my friends stick around.

I don't much care for Elvis Presley's music; but I love his movies (which are all musicals).

I love winter; but I don't like being cold.

I love to laugh and giggle a LOT; but I can cry over nothing and anything.

I play with fire; but I'm afraid to actually light a real match.

I love the beach; but the sand drives me nuts.

I find myself sometimes buying the crap the government feeds us; but I totally think there is something completely legitimate in conspiracy theories.

I wish for peace in the world; but I succumb to the belief that will never happen because it isn't supposed to.

I believe the Bible has all the answers; but I don't read it as often as I have unanswered questions.

I don't believe in the Boogeyman; but I am afraid to let my hand or leg hang off the bed at night.

My closest friends are girls (and I LOVE them); but I get along better with guys.

I don't really think I can sing; but I sing really loudly anyway and call it "harmonizing".

I love our neighbors; but I wish we were still the only house in our subdivision...............

See? What did I tell you? A complete contradiction...and this is only a partial list. I baffle myself...so I can only imagine what those around me must be thinking most of the time. LOL