Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Will all the grown-ups in the room please stand up?

So...I sit here today completely beside myself. I find that humans never cease to amaze me with all our little idiosyncrasies. (I like that word. It's long, hard to spell and hard to say, especially for Sylvester-the-cat types. It means "a peculiarity of temperament; an individualizing characteristic". I just like that the first four letters are the same first four letters in the word IDIOT. ha) We all have our "ticks", our "issues", or "baggage" (though some seem much better at "packing lighter" than the rest of us...they're the ones who manage to get everything into that one "carry-on" bag you're allowed). Some of us have very legitimate "issues" (i.e., the woman who doesn't trust men because her no-account "dad" abused her); but some of us don't. Nosireebob...Some of us just refuse to grow up.

"How dare you be so critical and judgmental?, you say. "You just have no idea what I've been through. Why..I had the worst childhood! My parents didn't understand me. They were so strict, they spanked me too much and they didn't buy me a car like all my friends' parents did. They were just so unfair!" WAH! All I can say is to "suck it up" and stop blaming your folks at this stage in the ballgame. Seriously. I can save you gobs of money. DITCH the therapist...unless you've got real, die-hard, serious "issues" (like a history of abuse in any of it's scariest, most detrimental forms)...and just make up your mind to LET IT GO and get on with the life that is ticking away in front of you.

Y'all...I'm just sayin'...your parents, crappy as they may have been, were just wingin' it the way the rest of us are. The only instruction manual you are given is the one etched into your brain by your parents before you...you are supposed to take that, when you grow up, weed out the crap through you own adult observations ("Wow, no one else's parents encouraged them to hold up convenient stores, so maybe mine might've gotten that one wrong?") and then you live an enlightened version of your childhood self. That's how it works...or how it should work.

**The compassionate side of me (which is also the side of me that sat through Psych, Social Work and Sociology classes, on the edge of my seat with interest, before ditching college) feels it necessary to acknowledge the people with real reasons for therapy...and kudos to the ones who decide to give themselves the ultimate human gift of freedom from their past by facing those diligent and well-equipped demons head on, with big balls, and conquering them. Those people are proof that it CAN be done. I know those people...and I am awed by them.**

Why am I in this mood? You really, truly don't want me to go into it. You don't. And I don't want to because it starts sounding like I'm whining or something. I am just tired of watching adults who really have NO reasons to whine do just that. I am tired of drama. I am tired of tiptoeing around their issues just to "keep peace" when it is only stunting their growth as individuals. I am tired of listening to other adults justify and/or excuse that someone's behavior and then try to take me on a "guilt trip" (a trip they plan to just put me on a plane to alone) because I am not being understanding enough...I'm not being "the bigger person". Apparently, I won't be nominated for the "Peacemaker of the Year" award? The funny thing is that I care more than they'll ever know.

And, y'all, I don't think I am perfect. I know many of my issues...and if I started listing them, we'd be here a while. But one thing I have figured out in my 30mumblemumble years is that this world and its inhabitants owe me nothing. I have figured out that my own life will be a bit easier to live if I just take a chill pill, when necessary...if I will try to look for the positive (because it IS always there)...and if I will "put away childish things". That doesn't mean I have to start dressing like an "old person" (I still proudly wear my Happy Bunny shirt)...or that I have to stop dreaming and wishing on stars...or that I have to quit swinging on swing sets in the park (unless they're for toddlers and I might tip it over! ha). It just means that I look at things through the eyes of experience and some level of wisdom (though my wisdom is still something I can barely fill a shoebox with)...which makes the "town gossip" look like a woman who is very insecure in her own skin and jealous of those around her and not someone "out to get me". It means that I hear things with ears of patience and humor...which makes the grumpy waitress become someone I am determined to make smile (and DID do, btw) and not someone I should treat equally as grumpy. It means that I realize the world doesn't revolve around me...at least not today anyway. ;-) And that I've figured out that the scary monster under my bed is just a bunch of books waiting to be read.

Besides, what good does it do to sit around and literally WASTE the few precious years you've been given by trying to whine your way to happiness (HEY...that sounds like a Kanye West penned "self-help" book...Kayne's I Did it My Way: How to Whine Your Way to Happiness)? Can that even be done? I'm guessing that'd be a NO. No matter how hard you try, how much money you spend or how many people you alienate along the way, you cannot fix the past...and, most assuredly, not by blaming someone else for all of its crap. You can no longer make your parents pay more attention to your 12-year-old self...you can't make your siblings apologize to your 5-year-old self for doing what most ALL siblings do: Be mean...and you can't make the school bully not take your 8-year-old self's lunch money. Yes, maybe you can sit down and have a heart-to-heart in adulthood and get an apology of sorts; but the real work is still UP TO YOU and NO ONE ELSE.

So, ok...I'm through venting. Thank you! ha

If this blog has offended anyone, then you are probably one of the ones who need to put on some big girl panties or big boy boxers, respectively, anyway.

Seriously...I'm just sayin'...

2 comments:

Jeremy Creasy said...

Haha, true

Jennifer aka "the wife" said...

: ) i love your venting sessions!

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