Have you ever been asked..."How'd we get here?" and just go blank? I don't mean by a drowsy 6-year old coming out of his car ride-induced, backseat coma somewhere near Orlando, after passing out somewhere around Gainesville. I mean, philosophically-speaking, I suppose. A close friend asked me that question today, actually. Now, I like to think I always have an answer and, of course, that I'm always right (hehe); but all I could say was, "I don't know". Like a kid who just woke up at Disney World, to his bewilderment.

How could I not know? How can a somewhat intelligent woman, with a memory any external hard-drive would envy, not know how she got from there to here if she was living it? I can tell you the tiniest details from 2nd grade about my best guy friend Derek McGinnis hanging out with me on the monkeybars, what we talked about and even what we were wearing. I am under the assumption that I can remember it so well because I relished every second of it while I was living in that moment, that's what children do, after all. And, when you're truly "living in the moment", you cannot see before or after that moment...you just see inside that box. If you even try to think ahead or worry about possible regrets you'll experience afterwards, you'll surely miss that moment somehow. Right? You'll be there, for sure, but you won't get the full effect. You have to be focused.

So...how'd we get here? Is it that I'm too in the moment? Can you be so in one moment that you miss some other important moments, the ones that get you to your current desination? This moment. Ok...I am beginning to confuse myself. (Blonde moment? Or rambling gone amuck?)

I don't know. It just baffles me that you can be paying such close attention to detail, enjoying every second that ticks away, and STILL miss something as important as how you moved from phase 1 to phase 2. I missed something? Wow. Can't go back and relive it. Can't go back and figure it out because dwelling too long on moments you lived a month ago will cause you to miss something happening now. Geesh!

So, how can I learn anything? What if I have what appears to be another "out-of-body" experience (ha) in the middle of a moment in the next chapter, and it is an avoidable mistake? Hhhmmm. Or maybe not a mistake at all...just bliss? Who knows? I don't reckon it matters really, but it just surprised me not to really know. It amazed me that it is possible that something enjoyable and engulfing could be such a blur. Will I pay more attention as phase 3 arrives?

Funny thought....I wonder if my husband's grandmother asked herself "How'd I get here?" a couple of weeks ago when she turned 102 years old?

I don't know. Just sayin', as usual!

(*Another archival rambling from Christy's former Myspace world*)

So...my husband was just now reading to me some of the excerpts from updates on the oil spill "down South". It stands to be ranked the worst environmental disaster our country has ever seen (my future grandkids will study this, alongside Hurricane Katrina). They are "preparing for the worst", one expert stated...that would be 150,000 barrels a day, of our precious "black gold" (something we don't actually have to sacrifice our unborn future generations to the Arabs for), being dumped out into the Gulf of Mexico...the "redneck Riviera", as it's fondly referred. This is going to make the Exxon-Valdez spill of '89 look like the time I dumped a whole crockpot full of cocktail weinies, in thick, gooey sauce, into the carpeted floorboard of my car. A nasty little mess.

And this couldn't have happened at a worse time...birds are nesting and mating along the coast, beach tourism is just beginning to blossom and shrimp season was supposed to open today (they did allow shrimp boats a couple of days, ahead of season, to take advantage of a small window of opportunity). If they can't stop it, they say it will likely make its way around Florida and up the east coast, possibly destroying what makes up 84% of the world's coral reefs. How's that for front-page news? And those devastated families of the 11 who lost their lives....

I'm no expert (as IF you even speculated such)...BUT there is NO way this accidental disaster won't affect our already unstable economy...not to mention our precious, depleted environment (you do realize that this will wreak havoc on an entire ecosystem?). I mean, won't we likely see business bail-outs (for something like BP) or entities having to file Chapter 13? Will we see more people lose jobs? I imagine the "experts" haven't even figured out all of the ramifications yet.

Ok...what's the point of this post? ("Just get to it already!", you plead.) Well...just a couple of days ago, I made a comment to my husband that it wouldn't be surprising to hear this incident was the result of sabotage. Seriously. I would imagine the world knows how vulnerable we are right now...weak economy, "skeleton crew" of a homeland military and mixed public opinion on our government's ability to make good decisions. I asked him if they had discovered the cause, and he said it was still under investigation (apparently, DUH, it's all the more difficult considering you cannot send guys in SCUBA gear 5,000 feet below the surface of the ocean to check things out). However, they are investigating the company originally contracted to construct the pipeline because, perhaps, it was faulty or inadequately done. Know who that company is? Halliburton. Recognize the name? A construction company our government has used for decades. She's an entity with quite a controversial reputation of "sleeping with the enemy"...the kind who harbor terrorists.

Now, I'm also no conspiracy theorist, but it was just one of those "things that make you go 'Hhhhmmm?'". "C'mon, Christy! Please. Quit over-thinking and go wash another load of clothes!", you say? Maybe you're right. It isn't like our government has ever had prior knowledge of a possible US attack around Sept 11 and failed to follow-through and like buried the faxes under someone's grocery list, or knew it needed to rebuild crucial levees in Louisiana and didn't or dragged its feet rescuing hurricane victims and give them relief. Nah! Not our government! "Go wash your mouth out with soap, Christy!" Really now, what would it benefit a government to have its big businesses begging for assistance, or to have its people looking to it for answers and guidance because they're hungry and broke or to know its citizens live in fear of uncertainty? Hhhhmmmmmmm........

I'm just sayin'...